Last summer as I was cleaning out a closet, my sister stumbled across this old paper which I wrote in 4th grade. My life was already pretty surreal back then, if my writing was anything to go by. Enjoy the weirdness of a grade-schooler’s mind.
Rainy Rampage, by D. Pick.
Greetings, I am Daniel Pancakemaker from Earth. Well, the story of my adventure to find the Aplenockolecocenoacorey temple starts like this. My class and I set off to the rain forest. My classmates names were: Osho Burnedbiscuits, Mega Fries, Total Burger, Math Coke, Mathfew Chalk, Cockerspaniel Green, Plate Dolphio, Whybother Dofe, Michael Stalker, and Christmas Carol. When we got to the forest, we saw hlosks. Hlsosk are big creatures that eat any moving thing. We ran away from them and went to a funny marking on the radar. It turned out to be the temple! We entered, checking for traps. We saw a pillar shake out of nervousness. (Editor’s note: I have no idea what this means.) Then a flamethrower fired, burning only a strand of hair on his head (Editors note: ????) Then Mega saw a disk, the golden Sun-disk! We grabbed it and were chased back to our ship by a 9,000 foot tall boulder! When we got home we gave the sun-disk to a meauseam and lived happily for ever and until we died we always remembered this story.